Have you ever been in a position where you felt helpless when in front of another adult, which caused you to doubt your talents or yourself? Have you ever been intimidated by another mature adult because you feared they would make you look terrible, criticize you, or exert control over you in front of others? Because you were never taught to protect yourself and you are willing to put up with their terrible behavior in order to maintain the peace, your work, or your relationship, your heart races every time you see this bully who is in their twenties, thirties, forties, or fifties. I’m here to tell you that you are an adult and do not need to accept trash from anyone. Nobody needs to be afraid of you. I don’t give a damn about who they are, how they appear, or what kind of job they have. People often claim that they can only harm you to the extent that you allow them to, and I firmly think that everyone should learn self-defense. I can empathize since, as an adult, I used to let others attack me because I did not want controversy and, regrettably, I wanted people to like me despite the fact that I despised myself. Therefore, I would remain silent and let those who were not as valuable as I was, who were not as kind to me, who were not as smart as me, or who were just looking at me make fun of and take advantage of me because, in my mind, liking and accepting me was more important than loving and accepting myself. Then, one day, I had had enough and found myself in a predicament where I had no choice but to speak up for myself. Let me tell you, after that day, when I gave them a piece of my mind while maintaining a healthy sense of calm, I never again allowed anyone to make me feel unworthy.Oftentimes, when adult bullies target other adults, it’s because they themselves have been bullied, are dissatisfied in their lives, and wish to transfer that energy onto someone else. Thus, I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to stay in a situation that makes you feel unconfident and that you don’t have to be silent and take garbage from no one.I don’t care whether they appear menacing or make threats as an adult. I want you to be able to stand up for yourself, so I’ve included some advice you can implement right away to stop having bullies control your physical or emotional well-being.
Do your Shadow work
Working with your unconscious mind allows you to discover the aspects of yourself that you suppress and keep hidden from yourself. You’ll be able to start working on yourself and release the upsetting memories of your upbringing by doing this. Most of the time, when adults allow another adult to bully them, it’s because they were bullied as children by their parents or other family members and were never trained to protect themselves. If they did learn how to defend themselves, they were treated badly on all levels. Hence, that type of treatment continues into adulthood, and as a result, when they are bullied, they simply put up with it. You can start working on your shadow by addressing your triggers. You can also journal about your childhood, your parents’ treatment of you, the times you were bullied, the reasons you allowed them to bully you, what you wish you would have said in response, and what you will say in the near future if it happens again.
Enhance your self-confidence.
Often, when we let someone abuse us, it’s because we don’t feel good about ourselves or what we can bring to the world. We despise ourselves so much that we will accept even the slightest nod of acceptance from others because at least we will be acknowledged. You may improve your confidence by listing all the wonderful things you have accomplished and all your excellent attributes in writing. Practice how you come across and take pride in your appearance since lurges can strike when you are in need of acceptance and begin the bullying right there. Get rid of all the negative individuals in your life who are constantly making you feel miserable.
Pratctice Techniques for standing up for oneself
Write down at home a scenario in which you are being bullied by someone, and then write out your desired answer, including how you would want to express it without including your emotions. Learn how to create boundaries without considering how others may feel, and how to refuse requests without feeling guilty. Daily practice will help you know what to do when you finally encounter your last bully.
Develop your assertiveness.
When someone is being bullied, they frequently act silent or are the sort of people that grin and laugh a lot as a defense mechanism for wanting to be liked and maintaining order. This is bad because wolves in sheep’s clothing are measuring you up to take you on an embarrassing trip when you grin or laugh too much around them. When you are in front of those you perceive as bullies, I want you to be more aggressive; reserve your soft, amiable side for those who genuinely care about you. Being an honest, direct person with a straight face and clear communication that exudes confidence while maintaining eye contact can help you be more forceful. This will demonstrate to the playground bullies that you are not the appropriate playmate.
Check insults as they happen.
Even though I know it may be difficult, you should always question a bully’s intentions when they make fun of you, make jokes, or say or do something that is inappropriate. Don’t let them get away with anything; otherwise, they’ll think it’s okay to treat you badly and you’ll carry those unpleasant memories home with you, where they’ll continue to play in your head. No matter how you say it, make sure to check their motives when they attempt to criticize you or yourself. If they try to discredit you by claiming that you are being overly serious, just laugh it off. That is only a cover so they may keep making fun of you. You weren’t sent here to be the offspring of any adult jokes or emtertianment. Thus, kindly check things as they happen and don’t feel guilty about it.
Last but not least, remember that speaking up for yourself won’t make you irrational or overly sentimental; rather, it will demonstrate to others that you are not someone’s verbal punching bag. Bullies are nothing more than hateful people who wish the world would punish them for the unpleasant experiences they have had. Ultimately, this is not your responsibility, and you are only responsible for yourself. This is the harsh fact, but we learn by the way others treat us, therefore if we treat others poorly, they will notice and assume they can treat you in the same manner. The next time you run into them, kindly explain where it is and how to get there and keep it going since one should be able to instill terror in your heart.
