We often discuss how to recognize warning signs in a relationship, but surprisingly, I seldom hear anybody discuss warning signs among friends, which seems absurd to me. While I believe that friendship is equally as vital as relationships, I don’t think it’s okay to disregard your gut feeling if you aren’t romantically connected with somebody. It’s crucial to understand that friendships aren’t necessarily healthy just because you both share similar appearances, fashion tastes, and tend to attract the same types of men and women at work and school. While orbiting a possible friend, it’s essential to be on the lookout for warning signs so you may head off conflict early and save yourself a lot of stress. Here are a few techniques for identifying red flags in a friendship.
Criticize you in a joking way. -Criticism is unquestionably a warning sign that shouldn’t be ignored since it can damage a person’s friendship and self-esteem. This is because verbal abuse can cause other undesirable things to arise. Have you ever had a friend who made light of something you did and then became irate when you became upset? Every joke has some truth hidden inside, as I often say. When someone makes fun of you while saying something unfavorable about you, they are actually saying what they think of you but are too afraid to tell you out loud, so they cover it up with humor. If someone is making fun of you and criticizing you, it’s possible that they are intimidated by your appearance, your brilliance, or the fantastic attention you get from other people. Criticism is only beneficial if it comes from a sincere friend who has experienced the same situation as you and is looking out for your best interests. And even then, if they criticize you, they will do so in a courteous, private manner.
They are needy-Another warning sign is a codependent friend that depends on you for everything and asks you to pick them up and drop them off at home without giving you any gas money. or they keep requesting money from you without explaining their intentions. Or constantly expecting you to pay for the bill when you two decided to dine out. Don’t get me wrong, I think being a good friend and supporting your friends are important, but it becomes problematic when you believe your friend can’t move without you. If you see that a potential friend is struggling with independence and isn’t self-sufficient, it’s time to step back and let them figure things out on their own. As soon as someone realizes they can depend on you for anything, the behavior won’t cease.
Jealous Friend-A friend who is envious of you is a huge red flag, and you need to use your discernment to recognize who is delighted to have you around and who despises the fact that you even exist. Others could be envious of you for the little things, like the way you walk and your positive attitude. The mere suspicion that your acquaintance may be envious of you should raise a red flag.
They disrespect your boundaries. No matter how long you’ve known someone or what you two have gone through, if your friend doesn’t respect your boundaries, they are not your friend. The most important thing someone can do is set clear boundaries for what they will and will not tolerate in a friendship. No matter how tiny, limits help you avoid unpleasant and perhaps harmful situations. For instance, if you tell a colleague that they are traumatizing you to the point that it makes you feel uncomfortable, but they don’t listen, that demonstrates that they don’t respect your boundaries. Depending on what you two do, where you go, and who you meet, there can be further restrictions. In platonic relationships, it’s essential to establish clear financial, emotional, and physical boundaries to prevent long-term stress.
You feel weird around your that friend– When your intuition is screaming at you to the point that you feel ill just being near someone, that, in my opinion, is the biggest red sign. It’s time to break up with your friends if you start to feel ill around them since oftentimes, those unwell feelings are warning indicators. I think that being around good people makes you feel good, but being around terrible people makes you feel horrible. We all know what happens when our intuition attempts to communicate with us but we disregard them: things don’t work out nicely. No matter how close or invested you are with a certain friend, the uneasy drained feeling you get around them is just a hint that you shouldn’t be around them.
Your friend tries to control you. – If your friendship entails ongoing control from your friends over your every action, including where you hang out, with whom you talk, and even with whom you date, it’s time to take those red flags into account and stop the friendship. Those who are too controlling in friendships typically act in this way out of insecurity and the conviction that if you have other friends or don’t do what they want you to do, you will forsake them. If a friend starts trying to dominate your life, walk away and give them room to work through their abandonment issues. No one should have that much power over you.
At the end of the day, I often ask how many red flags you need to see before you decide to leave. To attract wholesome, mutually beneficial friendships, you must think that you are deserving of them. Always be on the lookout for odd things that don’t line up with your beliefs while you are with friends or potential friends. Constantly be aware of your energy, even if it’s in relation to anything trivial. If your friendship consists solely of gossip, break up with them and find someone else. You are worth it, but you have to believe it for yourself. The same way I feel about relationships, I feel the same way about friendships: it’s best to avoid friendships if someone can’t treat you the way you know you deserve to be treated. Since you’ll only ever have one or two wonderful friends and the others will always be acquaintances, it is not beneficial to put yourself through the anguish of maintaining friendships. Ignoring red signs will take you down a sometimes-irreversible perilous road.
