As long as they are encouraging, kind, and honest, and as long as they have our best interests at heart, family is the most essential person we could possibly have in our life. So what happens if you are born into a dysfunctional family that accepts their negative traits as normal? Do you retain them in your life because you all share the same blood? Or do you cut them off and be satisfied to see them on the other side? Growing up, someone told me that just because someone is your family, it doesn’t mean you have to get along with them, and that notion has been with me ever since. I think we all have family members who annoy us but who we still love anyway because, at the end of the day, they are just being themselves and aren’t doing any harm. But what happens when you have toxic family members, especially when you can’t tell whether they are toxic or just going through the motions of life? Here are some pointers for a family member exhibiting red flags.
Family members spreading unfavorable rumors about you.
It’s time to distance yourself from that family member if you are tragically linked to one who only uses the phone to criticize you to their friends’ partners or other family members. In my opinion, if a family member doesn’t do anything except complain about you, it means they are hopelessly miserable and have nothing going for themselves. We are all aware that misery enjoys company, so if you ever catch someone talking badly about you, don’t be afraid to cut them off; the sense of serenity you’ll experience is priceless. Oftentimes, when family members criticize you, it’s because they are jealous. They will thus maintain tabs on you to get all the information they require to sit around and gossip about you since doing so makes them feel better about themselves and temporarily allows them to escape from their personal problems.
A family member that verbally and/or emotionally abuses you
If you are of legal age and are linked to a family that verbally abuses you by calling you insults like “ugly” or “dumb” or has emotionally abusive family members that are manipulative and deceptive, it’s time to leave. The term “family” does not give individuals permission to act like monsters just because they are reflecting on their life and regretting what they did or did not do. No matter how minor the abuse is, if you are dealing with someone who believes it is OK, move away from them because you deserve better. Always keep in mind that when your toxic family members criticize you, that’s how they actually feel about themselves. I advise not to take anything personally, but do feel free to defend yourself.
Family members who fail to seek mental health treatment.
Many times, toxic family members will think that their behavior is normal even if they argue every day, snap at someone because they are remembering a horrible incident from the past, belittle the younger generation, and act constantly furious. I think that if you use your intuition and see that a family member may be struggling psychologically but refuses to get treatment. It’s not your responsibility to serve as their punching bag and put up with abuse simply because you all consider each other family. The best course of action is to avoid toxic family members since they frequently display abuse just because someone may have bullied them. It is not your responsibility to intervene to save an adult who is not your kid if they fail to see the negative aspects of their behavior and the possibility that they may benefit from counseling or mediation.
Family members that are not supportive and just do so for financial gain.
I really believe that once the universe reveals someone’s true nature, you should believe it. If you are related to a self-centered family member, you should cut them off since they will never grow up and believe the sun rises and sets with them. Additionally, if a relative offers support only because they stand to gain financially, get rid of them as soon as you can. These types of money-hungry douchebags will drain you of your resources because they believe they are entitled simply because they offered you a little assistance when you were in need.
Family members that make excuses to demonstrate their laziness.
If you are connected to toxic family members who have the mental and physical capacity to go and achieve something amazing with their lives but choose not to do so because they believe that the world owes them something or that this fictitious person will enter their lives and save them, run. You don’t have to entertain those who are always begging for money and don’t take into consideration the 24 hours in a day thinking it’s normal to sleep there day away. Remember that the five people you spend the majority of your time with reflect your character and future, so pick carefully who you surround yourself with. For example, if you spend a lot of time with family members who lack enthusiasm for life, this will eventually drive you to behave similarly.
